Lisa's Musings

there's little i control

uh yeah - those are my "pimp" names - at least according to this site:

this link was in my inbox thanks to hilary - thanks! nothing like a good ole pimp name to brighten your day!

I am a bit tired. Spent some time in LA last week - where it was markedly hotter and I got to drive a mini-van around.... it was mostly a jam packed family affair - no time for art, but some time for uber fun shopping (insert sigh of happiness here). I think shopping releases endorphins for me - not exercise! but several days of running around sure catches up with you (plus plane rides - somehow they manage to suck the life out of you - no matter how short.... must be the fake air and the weird pressure of it)

came back home just in time to see the PIXIES... great show - kim deal has the most amazing voice live... and she was all smiley and cute even with that cigarette hangin from her mouth.... better than I expected (even with the occasional sound problem - bad greek theatre - bad!!)

and now I must go because I have to re-read the opening from Drawing Now so that we can discuss the difference between drawing as a verb (process) and drawing as a noun (final product) in class tomorrow - which thanks for asking - is going very well. I love these Mills students.... after our discussion we are going to the zoo to gesture draw the animals... yippee (I'm sure I'll want to draw, but that wouldn't be very teacherlike now would it? I know the second I see any giraffes, though, my toes are going to tingle - I have a soft spot for giraffes and hippos - don't ask me why!)

to put the fear of god into you.... we had an EMERGE meeting tonight - got to meet the other artists and see the show space - it's phenominal - The Old Mint in San Francisco. and it really and seriously was an old mint. it's an amazing building with this grand staircase to the entrance - tonight we were ushered in the side entrace to the basement where the old vaults sit - dark and cavernous with amazing light fixtures (ornate and delicate and large) and intricately painted/decorated (gold leaf and silver plated) heavy doors. you can almost see ghosts lurking....

the emerge show will take over the first floor - all these grand rooms - 18 foot ceilings - some with these 2nd story ledges with filigree railings... it's so grand. there we were 20 artists feverishly measuring and thinking and meeting.... I better figure out what I'm doing - and where!!! little tanks of felt in multiple colors are making their presence felt (pun intended) in my brain.... I think I just might have to try and fill a wall full of them... especially since I can have them made for me..... hmmmm

the Dangerous Playthings opening on Sat. evening was quite pleasant. it's such a comfortable space really - not too large, but not too tiny either....I was really impressed with the work in the show... and all the artists were quite congenial - in fact I think I'm going to have the lucky fortune of trading with a few of them! somehow I like the simplicity of this - it's like a perk but not a corporate one (this does not mean I would turn down an expense account). make art - get asked to put art in a show - see art that tickles your brain - trade with said artists - have new/lovely/interesting things for you walls/house/space! voila!

tomorrow I head to LA for a quick visit with family and hopefully a few chance artistic encounters.... I have my eye on a few spaces down there that I'd like to approach. who knows if I'll gather the courage to make a move and send packets of art hope into the world, but I have to believe that it's worth the try!

I should be getting my proposals together - proposals for classes.... but I don't feel like doing a gosh darn thing. it's like I'm in slow motion mode.... unlike me really....

so instead of doing what I should I'm just looking at stuff. there seems to be a lot of girly, delicate art out there - I'm liking a lot of it... and they seem to all know each other (like a hive of honey bees). here's 3 that have I've taken a fancy to:
Rachel Sumpter
Suzy Coady
Caroline Hwang

have I said that I hate waiting for quotes??? I'm becoming a fabrication artist - not in the sense that I'm fabricating, but in the sense that I'm liking having things made for me... I'm waiting to see if a gasket manufacturing company can cut out my shape in a multitude of colors and for how much... it's like holding your breath to see if you CAN afford those really cute shoes that you see in the window. My pink plexi tank is up and glowing in my studio - it has that new art happy smell... I think it is what has also sparked the fab bug in me if you will

the one good thing about procrastinating is that I have red fingernails. it's like a little itty bitty luxury. my fingers look happier as they type.

I have been thinking a lot about my childhood.... all of these tiny details like riding in my grandfather's blue Celica with the red sticker (the kind that was generated by a hand crank machine with a big dial that had the alphabet) that said "fasten your seatbelt", or wearing the new ESPRIT (light blue shirt style) dress that my grandma bought for me to school and feeling stylish and girlie.

It is really remarkable what gets imprinted into your brain - it seems like there is more room for these small and sublte details in those earlier memories than in newer ones. or at least the minutia seem bigger on recall (is this because the world was actually bigger??). The thing that makes me marvel at the brain is how once you give in (or give up trying to control it) these little dots connect and flow and memories of all shapes and sizes begin to pool and imagery flashes behind your eyes.

I have also been semi-consumed with how all these incidents - many of them very insignificant in the scheme of the universe (OK everything seems small in the scheme of the universe, but....) really shape your fundamental personality and future choices/loves/comforts/hates. It is this collective of donuts, ice cream cone treat car surprises, plays, bites stolen out of salmi, brunches at Henry's, filling in of bee holes, swimming pools, riding in cars, playing catch in the living room, vacations (infinity) that informs who you are - moreover, it is the people that brought these to you, shared them with you, laughed with you, fought with you, hugged you, and tied you in knots that burn/finalize/seal these memories and show you that you are loved (and love fiercely back)

I know these are not new concepts and have most definitely been more eloquently expressed by countless and numerous others.... but it's what I've been thinking about.... and so it ends up here.

this is Garbo - she is my baby girl....she is pictured here younger and with both her eyes (she lost one to glacoma last christmas). the whole medical mess that has been her recent life started with a bad bout of uvitis - basically eye inflamation. she has ended up with some sort of bizarre unexplainable auto immune disease that had seemingly run its course. today completely out of the blue she walked in out of our sunny and blaringly hot yard with her eye shut.... D and I looked at eachother in horror because it's uvitis... thankfully we have a shitload of meds leftover and have started her on a course and will hopefully squeeze in to see the eye specialist tomorrow.... but I can't shake the feeling of dread. I know for those people out there who don't have pets they won't get it - but this dog owns a very large chunk of my heart - and as much as I know that we will fight and do all that we can (and hope) I can't supress the fear....I just don't want her to go through the trauma of what we had to do the first time around and she's not a good candidate for blindness (as if anyone/thing is?!?! - I know - but just trust me)

which leads me to how this whole last week there has been a feeling of impending trouble - believe me I'm not superstitious by nature and I'm not even sure how to describe it. It all started with my body literally feeling uncomfortable - back pain - the tendonitis in my arm acting up... then a conversation about the "art world" with a friend that left a bad taste in my mouth and thinking about how to keep my priorities and life in check... the whole political situation seems bleek post the macho (read scary but well executed) Republican Convension... by Friday the rise in heat (yes as a No. Cal "delicate flower" anything above 85 degrees starts to make me wither) and a somber conversation with my studio mate left me feeling a bit tense. I began to think about this project as well and how I have been too scared and timid to divulge ceratin aspects of extremely personal information (or really negative thoughts/reactions)... it of course would make me vulnerable and expose my "real & serious" emotions and life to who knows who (although I'm still convinced that no one really reads this regularly - you just never never know). I then started to think about what I admire in say Aurora's blog is her heart on her sleeve honestly - the blunt and forthright joys, stuggles, thoughts, pains that she shares - the sense that we are all just silly humans on this planet with cross pollinating sets of problems or goals...Then again, my goal is not to bring everyone down, or even to invite them on the roller coaster of my life with this webspace of my own.... I have to admit, though, that sometimes it is cathartic to get something out - either vocally or via a keyboard....So I'll say this: I also found out this weekend that a person very close to me may be in a similar situation as my dog... meaning it isn't really clear what the future holds, but it doesn't seem bright and cheery. Thus I have discovered that fear and tears acutally and quite literally make your heart ache.

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Name: lisa s
Location: oakland, CA, United States

hello and welcome to my blog. i'm a mixed media artist living in oakland, CA with my husband, 2 dogs, 1 cat and my baby daughter. i try to post once a week about things that inspire me, what's going on in my studio, and little tidbits of my life. thanks for visiting, reading and commenting!

please please please :: i am happy to have you use an image of mine on your blog or somewhere else, but PLEASE just ask permission before you do. and please don't hot link. it really is important that we respect one another and the work we do. and if you are too shy or busy to ask, could you at least link back to me? thank you in advance!


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